Former England skipper Lewis Moody has disclosed he has been found to have motor neurone disease and stated he cannot yet face the full ramifications of the muscle-deteriorating condition that took the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old athlete, who was involved in the World Cup champion 2003 side and lifted multiple English and European titles with Leicester, spoke to BBC Breakfast 14 days after learning he has the condition.
"There's a certain facing the future and hesitating to really process that at the present time," he said.
"It isn't that I fail to comprehend where it's progressing. We grasp that. But there is absolutely a reluctance to confront the future for now."
Moody, speaking alongside his wife Annie, says conversely he feels "peaceful" as he focuses on his present health, his family and planning ahead for when the disease worsens.
"Possibly that's surprise or perhaps I deal with matters differently, and when I have the information, it's simpler," he continued.
First Signs
Moody found out he had MND after detecting some weakness in his upper arm while working out in the gym.
After rehabilitation was ineffective for the problem, a series of scans revealed neural pathways in his central nervous system had been damaged by MND.
"You're given this medical finding of MND and we're rightly quite moved about it, but it's quite odd because I feel like everything is fine," he added.
"I don't feel ill. I don't experience poorly
"The signs I have are rather minimal. I have a small amount of muscle deterioration in the fingers and the upper arm.
"I'm still able to performing whatever I want. And optimistically that will continue for as long as is possible."
Illness Progression
MND can progress swiftly.
As per the charity MND Association, the condition claims a one-third of people within a twelve months and over half within 24 months of identification, as ingestion and breathing become more difficult.
Therapy can only delay deterioration.
"It isn't ever me that I experience sorrow for," commented an affected Moody.
"It's the sorrow around having to break the news to my mum - as an single child - and the consequences that has for her."
Household Consequences
Talking from the family home with his wife and their pet dog by his side, Moody was overwhelmed by emotion when he mentioned informing his sons - 17-year Dylan and 15-year-old Ethan - the devastating news, commenting: "It was the most difficult thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two brilliant boys and that was quite upsetting," Moody stated.
"We positioned ourselves on the settee in crying, Ethan and Dylan both embraced in each other, then the dog jumped over and commenced licking the tears off our faces, which was rather amusing."
Moody explained the priority was staying in the now.
"There is no cure and that is why you have to be very intensely directed on just embracing and enjoying everything now," he said.
"As Annie said, we've been really lucky that the sole decision I made when I concluded playing was to spend as much duration with the kids as attainable. We can't reclaim those times back."
Player Association
Top-level sportspeople are disproportionately affected by MND, with investigations indicating the incidence of the disease is up to six times higher than in the wider community.
It is believed that by restricting the air available and producing injury to neural pathways, frequent, vigorous training can initiate the illness in those previously vulnerable.
Rugby Career
Moody, who gained 71 England appearances and competed with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was dubbed 'Mad Dog' during his professional days, in acknowledgment of his courageous, relentless method to the game.
He competed through a bone injury of his leg for a period with Leicester and once initiated a workout altercation with colleague and friend Martin Johnson when, irritated, he left a tackle pad and began throwing himself into tackles.
After appearing as a replacement in the Rugby World Cup decisive match win over Australia in 2003, he claimed a ball at the rear of the set piece in the critical passage of play, setting a base for scrum-half Matt Dawson to attack and Jonny Wilkinson to score the victory-securing drop-goal.
Backing System
Moody has already informed Johnson, who captained England to that title, and a couple of other former team-mates about his condition, but the rest will be finding out his news with the broader public.
"We'll have a period when we'll need to lean on their support but, at the minute, just having that type of affection and acknowledgment that people are there is what's important," he said.
"The sport is such a excellent community.
"I said to the kids the other day, I've had an amazing life.
"Even should it ended now, I've valued all of it and embraced all of it and got to do it with remarkable people.
"When you get to label your enthusiasm your career, it's one of the most significant blessings.
"Having accomplished it for so considerable a time with the teams that I did it with was a delight. And I am aware they will desire to help in every way they can and I await having those discussions."
